The Agony; felt during state of 'before'....trying to decide or control 'pulling'. Also felt 'after'.......the thrill is now done and the damage done must be determined.
The Ecstasy: the clear feeling of relaxation, relief, excitement while 'pulling'. Felt during the act of pulling.
I've yet to meet a 'puller' who did not experience these two very polar opposite states of being. Have you? Even if you've never discussed 'pulling' with another (although you're pretty sure others 'know', it's just the elephant in the livingroom that isn't discussed), it is felt within you.
The 'agony state' tends to have a far greater influence as the 'ecstasy state' is felt only during the actual time one is engaged in the pulling behavior/ritual. One spends far more time NOT pulling than pulling. Pulling time is usually rather fleeting, short time span. So? Is it safe to state that, although far less time is spent engaged in pulling, feeling the 'ecstasy state', far more time is spent living in the 'agony state' because the results of a 'pulling session' are (dependent upon where one pulls) actually visible to others ?
So? Based on this, is it any wonder pullers feel usurped with negative feelings and actions? Shame. Embarrassment. Anxiety of being discovered. Anxiety that builds in between pulling sessions. Depression. Poor self image. Detachment from forming close bonds for fear of being 'discovered'. Maintaining distance, physically, between one's self and others so to not have others close enough to see the results of a pulling session. Telling untruths to justify why there are patches of hair missing, eyelashes and eyebrows awry in shape and quantity.
Where are YOU right now? What state of 'being'? Agony? Ecstasy? Discovery? Recovery?